Hey Trinity Ballers...

Hey Trinity Ballers,
What was it like in Dublin City?
I'm 1000 K away, but sure
I know I don't feel as shitty,
As you do,
Mortals can't drink as much as you,
I swear it's true.

Hey there ball girls,
You didn't worry 'bout the distance,
Now your ankles are all swollen,
And you still look & smell like you're pissed:
Bloodshot-eyes,
Your little toe is part incised,
and you bruised your side.

Oh it's the Ball in Trinity,
For which I've no affinity,
I can't say it was shitty,
For I'd be sued by MCD,
(tho, they can't get to me)...

Hey there tuxedos,
Your dried vomit's getting hard,
A fiver says that you can't name that girl,
But cootees can leave a scar,
Did you get wood?
Your momma always said you would,
That blo was good.!

Hey there hangovers,
I've got so much left to say,
Multi-syllabic words may confuse you,
Plains White Pills take pain away,
Don't take them all,
You'd be even likelier to fall,
The Gards, they'd call.

Oh it's the Ball in Trinity,
Über masculinity.
With gladragged femininity,
Endangering virginity,

80 quid seems pretty far,
Did you get within a mile of the bar?
Or did you smuggle it in, having no other way?
Were you on the morning's first bus?
Or did you fall asleep because you did not drink Red Bull along the way?
No matter what, I promise you,
You'll do the same thing next year too,
The world will change but the ball will be the same,
And you're to blame.

Hey there young Ballers,
That rented suit used to look spiffy,
But those beers have ruined the colours, fool!
And now it smells quit iffy- and the bruise!
That smell is coming out of you,
You can drink wherever you want to,
Yes all that lovely beer's for you,
It'll make you spew...

Oh it's the Ball in Trinity,
Yes the Ball in Trinity,
Not much rhymes with Trinity,
Not much is less than infinity,
Less then infinity.

Exams, essays and other things beginning with 'E'

We now present another weak installment of the blog thing.

The college year, like a fire-exit sign, is on the way out. This has both positive and negative repercussions.

Exams are approaching, which means I have to try to collate what notes I have and find the building described as a 'bibliothèque'. I've looked up an English translation of same and I'm told it means 'library', whatever that means!?

I've also got two computer programming projects to hand in, as well as an essay on aspects of Ozzie English, which is a flamin' bastard to compile.

On the plus side, the day of my return to the land I so love is approaching, and after a few days in Germany I'll probably go back to Ireland. (ahh, Miss Direction; the girl of my dreams)

May, being the first month of Summer, also brought the sun back, both to Ireland and Belgiumland. This might seem like good news, but the big shiny circle thing occasions allergic reactions in yours truly, it's like cootees but without the benefits.

Weekend at Bengie's

So I went back to Dublin from April 25 - May 5 for a spot of canvassing. You gotta love that Lisbon Treaty.

I spent last weekend in Glendale Lodge with the Cabin Crew for some yearly repairs/maintenance etc.

Improvements include a fence, and a 13ft F.O. entrance gate, which took some Egyptian engineering to erect. 100% Egyptian trigonometry, 100% Egyptian carpentry and a 100% Egyptian Land Rover.

I got me centenary badge out of it so me is happy.


What with a training course and a trip to the Scout Shop from Gary my 10 days in Dublin got me:
Troop Overnights certificate
Chat Forum Badge
Centenary Badge
Centenary Award
Sun Burn
Centenary Neckerchief


Good times.

Same sh!t, different year

As some of you may know, I received a, now-habitual, swift kick in the goolies at the end of April. Once again, fate has conspired to rub its balls in my face.


Oh dear, what a pitty, never mind.




Maybe Liverpool will win something next year.



A wise man once said: "Remember: win or lose, those are your two options."

Fear and loathing on a River Rafting Ride

So there we was, on a laid back river raft ride in Walibi, having survived the waterfalls and the rapids, more or less dry, when in the cue to disembark our raft started taking on water. Those on the side where the water came in ignored the law of the lever and stood up on the seats pushing that side down even more. Having taken in about a foot of water I was starting to write my acceptance speech for the bravery award I'd get for rescuing the three kids and four adults, but no such luck as we were pulled onto the conveyor belt and the crisis was averted.

After that the bruvvas and I had a taste for adventure so we decided to form a crimefighting trio, a male version of Chalie's Angels...

J'en ai marre de Johnny Marr...

(... or roll and rock)

Have you noticed just how long people are in the lavatory?

Well I've noticed that short people are also there too.


Living on a tight budget, like living on a tight budgie, encourages innovation. One such piece of innovation I shall relate unto you now.

You'll know from reading this blog that there's plenty of corn in my diet, and in this blog. Thus I go thru my fair share of bog roll. This has created a cash flow problem.

The walls have ears and potatoes have eyes, so keep this to yourselves:

If buying t.p. is too much of an extravagance, then find a toilet roll tube and use it to coil the free t.p. provided in public toilets in universities, cafés, on trains or in libraries. The savings are absolootely fantastic.

Beware thou, such a practise is not entirely without risk: You can get AIDS on a toilet seat, but there are more comfortable places.

Louvain-la-Neuve, Not Leuven

I feel I need to clear up something, but I don't know the french for penicillin. To all those, including members of my family, who ask how I'm getting on in Leuven, I repeat: I live in Louvain-la-Neuve not Leuven.