Fear and loathing on a River Rafting Ride

So there we was, on a laid back river raft ride in Walibi, having survived the waterfalls and the rapids, more or less dry, when in the cue to disembark our raft started taking on water. Those on the side where the water came in ignored the law of the lever and stood up on the seats pushing that side down even more. Having taken in about a foot of water I was starting to write my acceptance speech for the bravery award I'd get for rescuing the three kids and four adults, but no such luck as we were pulled onto the conveyor belt and the crisis was averted.

After that the bruvvas and I had a taste for adventure so we decided to form a crimefighting trio, a male version of Chalie's Angels...

J'en ai marre de Johnny Marr...

(... or roll and rock)

Have you noticed just how long people are in the lavatory?

Well I've noticed that short people are also there too.


Living on a tight budget, like living on a tight budgie, encourages innovation. One such piece of innovation I shall relate unto you now.

You'll know from reading this blog that there's plenty of corn in my diet, and in this blog. Thus I go thru my fair share of bog roll. This has created a cash flow problem.

The walls have ears and potatoes have eyes, so keep this to yourselves:

If buying t.p. is too much of an extravagance, then find a toilet roll tube and use it to coil the free t.p. provided in public toilets in universities, cafés, on trains or in libraries. The savings are absolootely fantastic.

Beware thou, such a practise is not entirely without risk: You can get AIDS on a toilet seat, but there are more comfortable places.

Louvain-la-Neuve, Not Leuven

I feel I need to clear up something, but I don't know the french for penicillin. To all those, including members of my family, who ask how I'm getting on in Leuven, I repeat: I live in Louvain-la-Neuve not Leuven.

"Haute Cuisine": Hot food.

I've got a complaint, but I'm taking penicillin so it should get better soon.

If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap & easy.

I literally like nothing better than a raw liver sandwich. The local kebab shop specialises in all that spicy stuff from Pakmanistan. It's always been my belief that you can never have too much Italian food. Unless you choke on it and die. In wish case you would almost certainly have had too much Italian food.


I always practice safe lunch, by correctly using a condiment.

When in Dom...

As previously mentioned, myself and U***e D****n participated in the Tilbury House IV, in Cologne, Darren having found himself with some unexpected time on his hands. I had misread the title of the IV so I was expecting the Pillsbury Doughboy so imagine my dissappointment when Darren corrected my misexpectancy. Though Derek did turn up to C.A. in the end. Not for the first time did we "do a Camilla"*. Still the competition was well run so I like to publicly congratulate the convenor Miss Nomer, I think that was her name.

I've always enjoyed speaking with Darren. His oratory, like his prose, is not the best, but I suppose it could be verse. Our debate on pornography was in many ways like a good porno: it was hot and sweaty, had 8 people, we felt dirty afterwards and we only did it because people were watching. (Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.)

Daz and I climbed the Kölner Dom on the Sunday. Which was nice.

The journey home was delayed because we were held up at Liege, due to trains on the line.


* the act of being royally screwed.

Normal service resumes

Warning: if you become unnerved by the creepy boney hand of the unknown, then change seats at once, you're sitting next to a pervert.

My laptop went all blue screeny on me, so I've been having problems with the internet, much like China. So my post count has gone the way of my sperm count, (damn those blue movies... I do love the Smurfs). Anyhoo, please find hereafter my most recent ponderings.

If I haven't been overworked these last few weeks then my name's not Umberto Eco.

Duel Of The Fates...

Who will win... Albania decides!