Belgium, Not France

New Blog

2011-08-03T10:17:00.003+02:00

http://swedennotbelgiumnotfrance.blogspot.com/

Quod Dixit Dixit

2011-04-20T00:21:00.003+02:00

Injury time goals...

2008-06-16T09:33:00.004+02:00

It's 5pm on Sunday evening, I have about 2 assignments due in over the next 4 days, so what else would I be doing but updating my blog that I haven't touched in two weeks? Cooking French (belgian) Toast is what! It's about the only thing I can afford at the mo.
It is very very strange to think that almost a year has gone by since I started this blog, strange because it hasn't really been that long, less then 9 months. Also very strange was booking a one-way flight for my return home (26th June!!!). With less than 2 weeks left, most of which will be spent with me panicking at 3pm when I have a presentation due in an hour and haven't slept yet, I'm gettin ready for ma parents to descend upon Belgiumland next w/e to paint the town red.
So over the next week I'm going to sit down and make a list of things I need to do and see before I leave, because I doubt I'll be back anytime soon. Also I need to binge on Mitraillettes; man I'm gonna miss those.
Overall I have very few regrets about the year, starting out was very tough, and in retrospect I would have done a lot better had I just sorted out accommodation earlier, and not had repeats last autumn, but sure then I would have missed Freshers' Week in Trinners which was da bomb. Also I shouldn't have trusted my bank to sort out a loan in anything less then six weeks, but that's easy to say now I suppose. I also probably should have wandered about a bit more, which I liked (apart from that one time during the kot-et-Scout where I misread the map [a b/w photocopy] and ended up deep in a local park), and I wish I could have avoided the glare on those sunny days as, true to form, I got these hives that I always get this time of year :( -
but I blame UCL for putting my Lecture theatres/PC labs on the opposite side of the town from my kot. I'm sure there's more to say so I'll write a more comprehensive summary blog when I leave, for now it's back to trying to convert a java program to perl...oh the joys..

Any similarity with Nikki's Blog is purely plagiarism.

Toilet Humour...

2008-06-02T19:06:00.006+02:00

On a break between paper 1 and 2 of my Calculability exam today I visited the John, and noticed summit. I've often pondered this since first coming across these things 8 years ago this week, as it happens. On the continent, well in Belgiumland and Germany at least, they seem to have toilets which are different to those in the Ireland. There's this Continental Shelf thing which confuses me.

I gazed into the mirror when I was washing my hands, and I began to reflect...

What is the purpose of this shelf? If it's to avoid splashback then why is the shelf concave??? Answers on a toilet roll insert to the usual address.

I've started to file my fingernails.. all under 'F'. My fingers take a lot of punishment. I get a lot of splinters, don't know why, hopefully I won't get any more, touch wood.

To finish, here is a searching question.. "Where is it?"

Face for booking...

2008-06-02T17:32:00.006+02:00

Sometimes I neglect the blog in favour of a Facebook status message.. Here's what I've been up to...

Today
He has decided, independently of a just remembered appointment with the bank on July 1, that he should be back for good by the end of the month. 3:34pm
Yesterday
He notes the sad demise of Gaelic Football in Meath. 6:04pm
May 31
He is pleased with the finale of Lost, Season 4. 10:26pm
May 29
He is surprised to have received a party invite through "e-mail" instead of facebook mail, and thinks this "e-mail" thing could catch on... 7:33pm
May 26
He is distraught at the loss of http://forums.scouts.ie/index.php?c=5. 4:48pm
He is putting his towel away, having proved he's a frood who knows where his is! 2:41pm
May 25
He feels it is time to think about upcoming exams, perhaps. 4:21pm
May 24
He was hoping to be cheering for Ireland in Serbia, but he'll settle for watchin Serbia, in Ireland. 8:46pm
He spared a thought for Peter Stringer's career. No more of that... Come On MUNSTER!!! 5:32pm
He invites you all to observe one minute's silence at 16:30 B.S.T. for the repose of Peter Stringer's career. Come On MUNSTER!!! 4:12pm
May 23
He wishes Wolf Blitzer would just have the sex with Jeannie Moos and get over it already!! 7:34pm
May 22
He is minded that 18+5>17+3. 3:22pm
May 21
He 1-1, but more than Harry. 10:46pm
He is looking to get the €10 he spent on voting for Dustin back from the Irish Embassy! 2:17pm
May 20
He is toxic. 4:12pm
May 19
He is not a girl, not yet a woman. 10:33pm
May 15
He has signed up to a Belgian trend, by wearing a necker in his profile picture.6:46pm
He has just heard the biggest F.O. thunder clap ever. 6:35pm
May 14
He is on Ibuprofen, Paracetemol, Vitamin C, Cod Liver Oil & Antihistamines, but has saved money by not asking a Doctor about them first. Sleepy time... 3:39pm
May 13
He is sad to see Downing go red. (cf Orla Gordon). 1:42pm
May 12
He says what Costigan said.10:28pm
He rejects the sun and all of its works. 3:20pm
He welcomes all the new members to the club of "Those Who Were Best in Their Class But Still Didn't Get Schol". Bell-curves be damned! 1:19pm
He is asking what Halligan is asking, but without the promise of liquid refreshment... times are hard. 12:46pm
May 11
He is asking favours of Wigan & Portsmouth. 5:29pm
May 10
He is blogging about a ball he was not at. BelgiumNotFrance.Blogspot.com. 10:40pm
May 9
He is blogging, and is wondering what happened to the other two status updates... 8:08pm
May 8
He is advising Hillary on how to ignore the facts and continue running for election. 12:11pm
May 7
He is hoping the new leader will usher forth a new era of solidarity. Comrade Medvedev, I шalute ёou! 12:13pm
May 6
He is watching Bertie walk away from power. 7:19pm
He is watching 'Iron Man'. 12:52pm
May 5
He est revenu, et commence le projet aujoud'hui. 12:56pm
May 4
He is leaving on a jet-plane. 11:21pm
May 2
He has the same reaction to Keith Duffy, as Keith Duffy has to nuts. 2:34pm
May 1
He is recovering from multiple kicks to the crotch. 4:36am
April 28
He is seeing a pattern: Jim->Tim->Tom. 12:07am
April 27
He notes another win for Munster. 10:57pm
He is ordering 60 horses' heads on eBay, and is watching "Munich" for ideas. 3:09am
April 26
He notes the tragic loss to comedy that occured at 7pm yesterday... 1:30pm
He has new found respect for far away Belgium. 1:36am
April 25
He saw b*witched back in the day. 12:38pm
April 23
He is travelling to Leuven to catch a choo choo plane. 12:44pm
He is awaiting an IM from anybody on facebook chat. 9:18am
April 21
He is getting tired of all this canvassing and is glad he's not in Lawsoc or Halls. 5:35pm
He is on Skype: duinegananam. 2:35pm
April 17
He has never heard of Ciaran Cannon, and probably never will. 12:20pm
April 15
He bloggt, blogge, ag blogáil. 5:58pm
He doesn't feel guilty playing around on facebook instead of studying. 12:30pm
April 14
He is home next Wednesday. 3:24pm
April 13
He is wondering who else his friends know, given that he's only 62nd in ComparePeople's "Better at Science" category. 2:02pm
April 12
He says you can have Hillery, but you can't have Fianna Fáil. 12:03pm
April 10
He is looking forward to Cullen's imminent demise. 11:58am
April 9
He supports The Hist's Law Amendments, more or less. 3:00pm
April 8
He is just after purchasing a book for college, that wouuld be the first, after 6 years in same, and is resenting it. 3:41pm
He is continuing in a state of rest, unless acted on by an external force. Is this what is meant by a "moment of inertia"? 2:01pm
April 6
He is sad that his hero has been hounded out by accusations and hearsay. Mugabe, you'll always be my chief. 6:54pm
April 5
He is pleased with London Irish & Munster. 7:22pm
He is cheering on the Munster Men. 5:36pm
April 4
He is in Louvain-la-Neuve, not Leuven, in Belgium, not France. 4:51pm
April 2
He is beginning to doubt if it is possible for Ireland AND Belgium to have governments simultaneously. 4:48pm
He is open mouthed, shocked and saddened. 11:36am
April 1
He thinks the Gerry Ryan Show April Fools' gag was as good as ever, and he shall welcome tithing. 11:53am
March 29
He blames Canada. 10:55pm
He is satisfied that Arsenal lost 2-0 and is not going to let AERTEL tell him any different. 6:32pm
March 28
He is listening to Westlife. 8:26pm
He is wondering what the fuss is about, he's only got one exam, though it is in Dublin, and he hasn't attended any classes. It's probably just a typo. 7:52pm
He believes in Bertie. 4:05pm
March 27
He is blogging about not blogging, Cologne and food. 7:49pm
March 24
He is retuning to 88fm, what with RTE ditching MW broadcasts. O'Donnell Abú! 4:10pm
March 23
He is pleased that Liverpool are consistent. 8:24pm
March 22
He is updating his status. 8:10pm
March 21
He is jealous of Sweden. 8:44pm
March 20
He is watching Aladdin. 4:45pm
March 18
He is going to continue the Irish Good Friday tradition by defying Belgian licensing laws, and staying away from the pubs, off-licences and alcohol in general. 2:48pm
March 16
He did not make it to the final of the Tilbury House IV, as he and Darren felt it would take away from the freshers' success in the National Maidens. So there. 10:00pm
He is back from Köln. 9:06pm
March 14
He is hoping that Darren will break a trend, and have a passport.9:48amMarch 13
He is Client #9. 1:20am
March 12
He remarks that not for the first time the good people of Mississippi went for the black guy. 9:45am
March 11
He 8===> ({}). 7:55pm
March 10
He is officially endorsing Clinton. Obama 2016! 5:05pm
He is. aswell, but better. 1:26am
March 9
He fährt nach Deutschland nächste Wochenende, und ist Debatte. 6:42pm
March 8
He is looking forward Liverpool scoring 4 against Keegan's Newcastle, like in the good old days. (3 will do). 5:14pm
He is looking forward Liverpool scoring 4 against Keegan's Newcastle, like in the good old days. 2:47pm
He is looking forward to Rio Ferdinand conceding at least another 2 in the next 10 minutes. 2:30pm
March 7
He is pleased with the power of subliminal messaging. 5:39pm
He wonders if CNN will give an election prediction at 5pm GMT. 4:58pm
He intends to vote early and often. 11:53am
He thinks he should update his Blog soon. Tomorrow probably. 12:55am
March 6
He is excited about the early onset of the Hist Election Season. 6:31pm
March 5
He is excited about the early onset of the Hist Election Season. 9:01pm
He is thinking that there's a doings a transpiring... 6:59pm
He doesn't pay Bartley to respond to his facebook comments. 4:29pm
He doesn't know who is most relieved: Peter Robinson, Hillary Clinton or William Quill. 7:25am
March 4
He reminds soldiers: March 4th! 5:05pm
He has decided to withdraw from the Theobald Wolfe Tone Memorial Debating Competition 2008 for personal reasons. 11:40am
He remarque qu'il neige toujours!! 12:53am
March 3
He remarque qu'il neige!! 10:32pm
He is on the Jamboree 2008 media team. 4:52pm
March 2
He didn't win an Irish Blog Award last night and is not best pleased. 2:23pm
March 1
He is looking forward to camping in Punchestown this summer, but not at a Music Festival. This is going to be great.. 11:04pm
He aims to continue the CUS winning streak in the Times next year. 12:12pm
He does not know who won the Irish Times Debate 2008. 12:46am
February 29
He wonders "who is Irish Times?". 10:17pm
He wishes Zig and Zag a happy (5th?) birthday. 12:27pm
February 28
He "has scum like you for breakfast" OR ""has scum, like you, for breakfast"... 3:54pm
February 27
He wrote a java program that prints itself to the screen, and is surprisingly still single. 7:54pm
February 26
He is looking for a book about "Australian English", the dialect, not the descendants of convicts. 12:10pm
February 25
He is 9568 days old. 7:48pm
He says Dubs 2 for 2 in song contests. 11:51am
February 24
He is wondering why noone told hiom that a) Paisley Jnr. resigned b)his ex-flatmate died and c) B*witched are finally back together. 5:51pm
He is pleased with events in Wembley. 5:45pm
He starts campaigning for "Douze points pour Irlande" in the morning. Vive le dinde!! 1:02am
February 23
He would swap it all for a chocolate digestive. 6:19pm
He thinks Kosovo, Kurdistan, Basque, Catalunia, Bavaria, Scotland and...Cork: Countries that'll win the Eurovison Song contest before Ireland does again. 1:08am
February 22
He thiinks that Hillary's final answer in the Texas Democratic Debate will win her the nomination. 12:08pm

Don't be a stranger...

2008-05-13T18:16:00.002+02:00

I notice that I've got hits from Israel, Switzerland, Singapore & Mexico.

If you are a visitor from anywhere strange please leave a comment here.

Cheers.

Hey Trinity Ballers...

2008-05-10T20:48:00.011+02:00

Hey Trinity Ballers,
What was it like in Dublin City?
I'm 1000 K away, but sure
I know I don't feel as shitty,
As you do,
Mortals can't drink as much as you,
I swear it's true.

Hey there ball girls,
You didn't worry 'bout the distance,
Now your ankles are all swollen,
And you still look & smell like you're pissed:
Bloodshot-eyes,
Your little toe is part incised,
and you bruised your side.

Oh it's the Ball in Trinity,
For which I've no affinity,
I can't say it was shitty,
For I'd be sued by MCD,
(tho, they can't get to me)...

Hey there tuxedos,
Your dried vomit's getting hard,
A fiver says that you can't name that girl,
But cootees can leave a scar,
Did you get wood?
Your momma always said you would,
That blo was good.!

Hey there hangovers,
I've got so much left to say,
Multi-syllabic words may confuse you,
Plains White Pills take pain away,
Don't take them all,
You'd be even likelier to fall,
The Gards, they'd call.

Oh it's the Ball in Trinity,
Über masculinity.
With gladragged femininity,
Endangering virginity,

80 quid seems pretty far,
Did you get within a mile of the bar?
Or did you smuggle it in, having no other way?
Were you on the morning's first bus?
Or did you fall asleep because you did not drink Red Bull along the way?
No matter what, I promise you,
You'll do the same thing next year too,
The world will change but the ball will be the same,
And you're to blame.

Hey there young Ballers,
That rented suit used to look spiffy,
But those beers have ruined the colours, fool!
And now it smells quit iffy- and the bruise!
That smell is coming out of you,
You can drink wherever you want to,
Yes all that lovely beer's for you,
It'll make you spew...

Oh it's the Ball in Trinity,
Yes the Ball in Trinity,
Not much rhymes with Trinity,
Not much is less than infinity,
Less then infinity.

Exams, essays and other things beginning with 'E'

2008-05-09T20:41:00.002+02:00

We now present another weak installment of the blog thing.

The college year, like a fire-exit sign, is on the way out. This has both positive and negative repercussions.

Exams are approaching, which means I have to try to collate what notes I have and find the building described as a 'bibliothèque'. I've looked up an English translation of same and I'm told it means 'library', whatever that means!?

I've also got two computer programming projects to hand in, as well as an essay on aspects of Ozzie English, which is a flamin' bastard to compile.

On the plus side, the day of my return to the land I so love is approaching, and after a few days in Germany I'll probably go back to Ireland. (ahh, Miss Direction; the girl of my dreams)

May, being the first month of Summer, also brought the sun back, both to Ireland and Belgiumland. This might seem like good news, but the big shiny circle thing occasions allergic reactions in yours truly, it's like cootees but without the benefits.

Weekend at Bengie's

2008-05-09T20:35:00.000+02:00

So I went back to Dublin from April 25 - May 5 for a spot of canvassing. You gotta love that Lisbon Treaty.

I spent last weekend in Glendale Lodge with the Cabin Crew for some yearly repairs/maintenance etc.

Improvements include a fence, and a 13ft F.O. entrance gate, which took some Egyptian engineering to erect. 100% Egyptian trigonometry, 100% Egyptian carpentry and a 100% Egyptian Land Rover.

I got me centenary badge out of it so me is happy.

What with a training course and a trip to the Scout Shop from Gary my 10 days in Dublin got me:
Troop Overnights certificate
Chat Forum Badge
Centenary Badge
Centenary Award
Sun Burn
Centenary Neckerchief

Good times.

Same sh!t, different year

2008-05-09T20:02:00.002+02:00

As some of you may know, I received a, now-habitual, swift kick in the goolies at the end of April. Once again, fate has conspired to rub its balls in my face.

Oh dear, what a pitty, never mind.

Maybe Liverpool will win something next year.

A wise man once said: "Remember: win or lose, those are your two options."

Fear and loathing on a River Rafting Ride

2008-04-23T10:05:00.002+02:00

So there we was, on a laid back river raft ride in Walibi, having survived the waterfalls and the rapids, more or less dry, when in the cue to disembark our raft started taking on water. Those on the side where the water came in ignored the law of the lever and stood up on the seats pushing that side down even more. Having taken in about a foot of water I was starting to write my acceptance speech for the bravery award I'd get for rescuing the three kids and four adults, but no such luck as we were pulled onto the conveyor belt and the crisis was averted.

After that the bruvvas and I had a taste for adventure so we decided to form a crimefighting trio, a male version of Chalie's Angels...

J'en ai marre de Johnny Marr...

2008-04-15T18:49:00.003+02:00

(... or roll and rock)

Have you noticed just how long people are in the lavatory?

Well I've noticed that short people are also there too.

Living on a tight budget, like living on a tight budgie, encourages innovation. One such piece of innovation I shall relate unto you now.

You'll know from reading this blog that there's plenty of corn in my diet, and in this blog. Thus I go thru my fair share of bog roll. This has created a cash flow problem.

The walls have ears and potatoes have eyes, so keep this to yourselves:

If buying t.p. is too much of an extravagance, then find a toilet roll tube and use it to coil the free t.p. provided in public toilets in universities, cafés, on trains or in libraries. The savings are absolootely fantastic.

Beware thou, such a practise is not entirely without risk: You can get AIDS on a toilet seat, but there are more comfortable places.

Louvain-la-Neuve, Not Leuven

2008-04-05T19:42:00.005+02:00

I feel I need to clear up something, but I don't know the french for penicillin. To all those, including members of my family, who ask how I'm getting on in Leuven, I repeat: I live in Louvain-la-Neuve not Leuven.

"Haute Cuisine": Hot food.

2008-03-27T19:45:00.002+01:00

I've got a complaint, but I'm taking penicillin so it should get better soon.

If you are what you eat, I'm fast, cheap & easy.

I literally like nothing better than a raw liver sandwich. The local kebab shop specialises in all that spicy stuff from Pakmanistan. It's always been my belief that you can never have too much Italian food. Unless you choke on it and die. In wish case you would almost certainly have had too much Italian food.

I always practice safe lunch, by correctly using a condiment.

When in Dom...

2008-03-27T19:27:00.006+01:00

As previously mentioned, myself and U***e D****n participated in the Tilbury House IV, in Cologne, Darren having found himself with some unexpected time on his hands. I had misread the title of the IV so I was expecting the Pillsbury Doughboy so imagine my dissappointment when Darren corrected my misexpectancy. Though Derek did turn up to C.A. in the end. Not for the first time did we "do a Camilla"*. Still the competition was well run so I like to publicly congratulate the convenor Miss Nomer, I think that was her name.

I've always enjoyed speaking with Darren. His oratory, like his prose, is not the best, but I suppose it could be verse. Our debate on pornography was in many ways like a good porno: it was hot and sweaty, had 8 people, we felt dirty afterwards and we only did it because people were watching. (Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted.)

Daz and I climbed the Kölner Dom on the Sunday. Which was nice.

The journey home was delayed because we were held up at Liege, due to trains on the line.

* the act of being royally screwed.

Normal service resumes

2008-03-27T18:46:00.003+01:00

Warning: if you become unnerved by the creepy boney hand of the unknown, then change seats at once, you're sitting next to a pervert.

My laptop went all blue screeny on me, so I've been having problems with the internet, much like China. So my post count has gone the way of my sperm count, (damn those blue movies... I do love the Smurfs). Anyhoo, please find hereafter my most recent ponderings.

If I haven't been overworked these last few weeks then my name's not Umberto Eco.

Duel Of The Fates...

2008-03-12T19:56:00.002+01:00

Who will win... Albania decides!

It's a small world...

2008-03-08T23:20:00.001+01:00

There i was this afternoon sitting all alone in my Belgian flat, another weekend where my flatmates went home to their parents, when I get a knock on the door.

One scout leader and 4 scouts looking for a roof for the night.

Being a brother to my fellow scouts I agreed...

Let's get the FARC out of Ecuador

2008-03-07T23:37:00.005+01:00

Not much to report at the moment...

The Eircom league season kicked off again this week and Bohs won. Life is good.

Last night, (I remember it as if it were yesterday) there was a bit of a kerfuffle in the kitchen in the flat. Two friends of a flatmate were staying over and they got into an argument. They were making so much noise that I could tell that it was gonna get medieval. The rest of the cokotteurs were onlooking in their PJs when I came down to see if everything was alright in my underpants. It all blew over and in the end I had no need to whip out the paddling pool filled with mud. Shame. If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.

Fresh from their antipodean cruise the parents tell me that I won't recognise the house. New beds, an extension, paint job. And they've moved.

My diet has changed recently due to cutbacks, it still fit for a king, but now it's for one who's abdicated.

I'm off to Cologne next weekend for a Debating IV, I was planning on doing a little souvenir shopping but when you've seen one shopping centre you've seen a mall.

I got my camping ticket for the summer's big gig in Punchestown: Jamboree 2008. I'll be writing for the Jamboree's daily publication. Hard hitting articles such as:

"Dead tomato found in Dun Áilinne, Galway camp chef is chief suspect"
"Ten things you wanted to know about that Dublin troop opposite you, but were afraid to ask"
"I'm so hungry, I could murder a brownie"
"This is going to be grate: fun with coat hangers"

...so that's at least one gig involving regularly churning out comedy gold for a captive audience that I'll be getting up to later this year.

All Issues available here.

Mid-term is fast approaching, thank god; I'm always happy to get the first leg over.

Talk cha.

Remember: Without geometry, life is pointless.

"The report of my debt is an exaggeration"

2008-02-23T02:38:00.003+01:00

Given that I spent c. 2 months in a 2 star hotel at the start of my year abroad, it seems that the money is starting to run out. Plans to get a McJob have so far been scuppered, owing to the requirement that one be in some way competent in la langue francaise. Facists!. I'm considering selling my body... of literary work (this Blog included) to the highest bidder.

In other news, my co-kotteurs and I had a nice meal together for the first time on Wednesday, we all went out on a whistle stop tour of all the student run bars afterwards (occasioning the rant). Subsequently, two nights later I'm still shattered.

In udder news, mastitis is on the increase in Wallonia.

I'd like to finish with a happy note: G#

Au Revoir les Enfants...

2008-02-23T02:21:00.006+01:00

This week, I choose to wave my right hand, and say goodbye to the whole club scene thing...

... on the subject of young people and their desire to go out late at night in uncomfortable clothes, to dimly lit venues, with music playing at a level that Nigel Tufnel would describe as a "12", flailing the limbs for no good reason... I've tried and failed over the last 10 years to understand it, and to enjoy it. Well it's no use. Every time I'm out, I'm looking at my watch waiting for it to be 3 am so I can go home. I'd much rather be at home watching paramount comedy channel, even if there are more eligible hotties in Q bar then at home. I resent that despite the fact that a night out forms perhaps 3% of everyday life (6 out of 168 hrs in a week) it makes up perhaps 40% of a guys/girls pullability; "If you're a fun drunk and you can work it, then you'll make a good life partner." Well that's just bollix, and I'm sick of it. Pubs and the whole culture of a "local" I can deal with but I'm done with dancing and trying to chat with someone at 2am. The fact that I can sing along to 90% of the songs on the radio from the 60s onwards shows that I love music, I don't need it played at 200 dB to enjoy it ... rant over.

In future rants:
* Parties for people not going to a debs in the house of someone who is.
* Bus ticket and postal stamp prices coming the official secrets act.
* Plastic Soles
* "Aquired" tastes

If music be the food of love, then make mine a double cheese burger...

In tonight's episode of Bear In The Big Blue House...

2008-02-20T02:40:00.002+01:00

Bear: Where oh where oh where is Shadow?
    Where oh where oh where is Shadow?
    Where oh where oh where is Shadow?
    Where can Shadow be?
    <looks>
    Shadow?
    What, what are you doing on Luna?

Shadow: Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Bear: OH NO!

Ojo: Yes Bear?

Bear: No, I said 'Oh no" , not "Ojo"!

Ojo: Oh, What's wrong.

Bear: Shadow did a bad thing Ojo!

Treelo: Worse than the thing that Ray did to Doc Hoggs skin.

Bear: Yes, worse than a melanoma...

Elsewhere...

Treelo: Treelo thinks it's very dark Tutter.

Tutter: Bear said it's a magical Lunar Eclipse show, Treelo

Treelo: Treelo hates clip shows.

Yet Elsewhere...

Pip: It looks like a full moon again, Treelo

Pop: Yeh, Shadow should put her pants back on.

Pip, Pop: ha ha ha ha ha ha

Errrrmm, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Writer's Block.

2008-02-18T15:20:00.002+01:00

The more perceptive of you will notice that my post rate is not what it used to be. This is unfortunately due to ... continue.

Wanted one balloon, last seen going in the direction of up...

2008-02-08T20:16:00.000+01:00

I was wandering across the main road by my flat the other day, when something struck me.

If memory serves this year's a leap year, meaning in simple terms there's a 29th of February coming (30 days hath September, April may, and June definitely has). This is traditionally a time for the ladies to propose to the eligible bachelors. I'm going to give you the same advice that I gave the local hospital gave to the job seekers: Please form an orderly queue.

I got my hair cut for the occasion. I didn't like the length at first, but it's growing on me.

I've recently got back into the whole staying fit and healthy thing. I used to work out back in the day, but then I started using a calculator. Sometimes I participate in a kick-a-round on the college astroturf. As they say over here the game is a foot. If you've been me as long as I have (and I think I have been), you'll know how difficult it is to stay away from an unhealthy diet. Greek scholars see me and proclaim "that face could lunch a thousand chips". Rather than staying away from the mitraillette, I balance the equation with some exercise, running away from responsibility, carrying heavy burdens and lifting all my readers' spirits. Sometimes I like to get down on my knees, so I go down to the local park and kneel on a duck.

In other news, my parents, wanting to get away from our house with a poky little bathroom, have gone away on a cruise on a luxury lino. Good for them.

Nominated for an Irish Blog Award?

2008-02-08T19:06:00.000+01:00

Just as I was celebrating one whole year without losing a single election, you guys go and fail to nominate me, despite my subtle hints, for an Irish Blog Award, (IBA).

Not one nomination for Best Blog, Best Personal Blog or Best Newcomer.

Nor did "I'd like to apologise in advance" get on the Best Post shortlist, nor "Hey T.K., Orange you glad you asked me to update this..." for Most Humorous Post, not even a nomination for Best use of Irish Language in a Blog for "Deirtear gur 'tús maith' leath na hoibre ach is é 'HOI' leath na HOIbre!". Faraor faraor.

I am not a happy campeur.

Still at least Nikki's not there either.

If only there was some way to redeem yourselves...

Tom Brady is Superbowl

2008-02-03T16:55:00.000+01:00

After my flight back I think I may have shaken off the effects of that deep vein tombola. I just had to wait till my balls dropped in the right order.

I started new subjects this week, Maths for Computer Scientists, Calculability, varieties of English and Automatic treatment of Textual data. (Answers on a postcard to the usual address).

Big changes in the accommodation this week as two of my former flatmates have moved out. Nothing good ever comes from a group of people constantly rowing, except for maybe the Boat Race.

One thing I did miss when I was in the fatherland was the traditional Belgian chipper. You can't keep a good deep-fat-fryer down, or food from a bad deep-fat-fryer.

Belgians are becoming more and more price conscious and there have been a few demonstrations since I got here. Personally I think they don't know how lucky they are. €4 for a filling Kebab/Pita/Roll is just like a Nun on a Clown: Virgin on the Ridiculous.

Some people have been asking me what the ladies are like over here. When I consider la femme belge, I'm confused, no wait... maybe I'm not. Well they're a little hard to get a handle on, especially if your concerned about such trivialities as consent. Some girls I've met have been as thick as a telephone directory. Not that they're all unemployed supermodels: Belgium has it's fair share of red heads. If The Little Mermaid has thought me anything, and I think it has, it's that gingers smell of fish. Don't get me wrong: I can hold my own with any woman, and I usually have to. Having said that the fact that I am yet to score here is as big a shock as that time Gay Byrne pulled out of the Rose of Tralee. One cute girl did wave at me the other day if two fingers count as a wave.
Tonight's the superbowl and I plan on overdosing on Nachos. Good times.

Last but not first, I'm not one to gossip, so listen carefully.

Word on the grapevine is that a leading candidate for the Ents position in TCD's SU has been working very hard behind the scenes to get a great line-up for the Trinity Ball. I hear that said candidate has recently contracted The Blizzards & The Rolling Stones; he's been advised to stay in bed and keep off fatty foods.

And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stoopid...

2008-01-28T23:37:00.000+01:00

"Well, I'm back"

I've been in Dublin the past 10 days. Níl aon tinteán mar do thinteán féin, seachas, mo thinteán. Back in October I decided that I'd be better off cutting Christmas in Dublin in favour of waiting for the Trinity IV. Good choice. Best fun I've had in months. I met a lot of new people but you'll have to excuse me, I've a terrible face for names. 'Specky' they call me, and 'bandy nose'...

Stopped for some food in the airport before I got the bus home, typically the food was cold, I made a complaint and the woman says to me "I'm sorry, I don't work here", then she just walks off towards the exit. Ignorant bitch. Niall's bidet on Friday started the week off with a bang, and a kip on his couch, (3 months away from home and I couldn't even stay on the Northside for one night).

Saturday, went out with some guys from Aughrim Street. Back to Nat's house and 'Cars' in HD, another night on a couch in a residence that wasn't mine. On the way home stopped off at the GMB for some IV cinematography. I still got the funny. Later on Sunday, Christmas dinner with the family, and I met my 13 month old niece for the second time.

The rest of the week was taking up by all things debate. Schoolies on Monday on about pharmaceuticals in the third world. Twas my first attendance at a debate in months, I remember it like it was tomorrow. Wednesday, judging workshop, first opp-ed banning private schools, with Ctolm. He and I both did 6 years in C.U.S., but not at the same time. F*ck me I'm old! - to borrow from Hefner parlance.

Wednesday night chaired private business again, It's a tough job but somebody's got to do it. Then did my second speech in a row in the chamber without notes, this one on immigration. Good times.

Thursday came the workload, The Kingsmill-Moore invitational, which surprisingly didn't have a Hist team, myself and Costigan having decided to let the Earley Brothers compete instead. I'm kind of nice like that sometimes. Oh in case I forget I've got a great story involving Costigan and some Sheep, but I'll save that for a later date. The last week in April, perhaps. Set up the Hist Conversation room for the feeding of the fifty, let Jamie think he was making the decisions, god bless him! The motion for the final was "That this house would abolish private property", and became a Capitalism/Communism argument. The GMB is a lot like a commune. Except without the free love or the Jonestown-style mass suicides.

Friday, I paid fees for second half of the year, not so good times.

The powers that be decided I was worthy of a Trinity student card (the fools!). Headed back over to The GMB where there was work to be done. Not for the first time in my life I was packing. A little later it was my finger on the button to play said IV Videos. The films were shot in the GMB, as the director should have been. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers, or the ability of people in large numbers to misread webpages, scrolled at an acceptable rate, in which their only job is to get a room number, and a position in a debate. Meanwhile Chris (4 Ents) & Orla were running around looking for a good beating stick, but they soon found out the main problem about running an IV, you just can't get the staff.

Saturday, packed my bag for Sunday's flight and went back to the GMB, where else, for some more button pushing. However due to the reluctance of a team from NUIG to turn up on day 2 of the IV, myself and Darren got to Dummy in two rounds. We'll be competing in the Tilbury House IV in Cologne in March so it was good practice. Last year we racked up 10 points dummying, this year we got 5 from two rounds. We still have it. I love dummy speaking almost as much as after-dinner streaking. It's not that I like the sound of my own voice, it's just that I like hearing myself speak. The first motion centred around a guy who wanted to drive the Jews into the sea, but not the way Moses did it, he actually wants to get them wet. It was while I was comparing the Iranian President's legitimacy to that of The King of say, Spain, that I on at least four occasions said "The King Of France", but would anyone have the courtesy to tell me what I was saying? No bleeding way. Of course it wouldn't be the last time i said summit stupid on that day.

Ross and Maggs walked away with all the prize money, but they were caught and made to return it.

Saturday night, another great final and night out. Unfortunately, I dance like I wank: it's fun, but it's not advisable in public*. After a few long goodbyes I left the club with a fwown on my face.

The next morning it was off to Belgium, not Spain with me for another few months. I've got a strange feeling I'll be back soon: I wish I knew how to quit you, (as Heath Ledger said to his dealer). A funny thing happened on the way back, but not to me.

It was cold when I got back, I made a pair of snow-shoes, but the heat of my feet melted them. Oh dear, what a pity never mind.

Went downstairs to the train station under the airport and bought my ticket back to LLN, "change in Leuven" they told me, why I couldn't just get it there, I'll never know.

I leave you with the latest bit of good news for fat people: thin people are delicious!

*(I was considering using the phrase "human consumption" there, but that would have been tasteless.)

2008-01-16T11:14:00.000+01:00

Nominations for the Irish Blog awards are open for 2008. If you would like to nominate this blog then visit http://awards.ie/blogawards/nominations/.

Death of a Kiwi.

2008-01-11T11:32:00.000+01:00

Sir Edmund Hillary, conqueror of Everest, died today a rich man.

Apparantly he made a whole mill out of a mountain.

to all those who have sent me emails this past year...

2008-01-10T00:49:00.000+01:00

Dear All:

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year....

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat sh*t in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towl with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time

I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the EUR15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program....

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split EUR7 million with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who died in testate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,207 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward the email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gas without taking a friend along to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl into my back seat while I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my butt.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the EUR5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my care to grab my leg.

If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m. this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

By the way ... a South American scientist after a lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ's who have infrequent sexual activiy always read their emails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

Where The F*ck is Godot?

2008-01-08T00:18:00.000+01:00

I was intending to update this thing more often over the holidays, but access to the Computer rooms are limited because the college is broken up for winter: they're using it as firewood.

The time between the end of term and the exams (and the ten day return to Dublin) is dragging out. I've been studying a lot recently, studying and facebook-ing, to the detriment of my fridge, which is presently as empty as a BESS girl's brain. There were times over the last few weeks that I would have killed for a chinese; of course I would killed that chinese, but at least I would have appreciated him first.

Studying's going pretty well, and the videos of the lectures really help in the recall progress. That said, there are perhaps a bit too many, and the archiving system is not the most efficient. Every morning, I find the librarian blowing the dust off his extensive footage. He tells me that due to cutbacks he has had to share an office with 6 female colleagues, but he wasn't complaining. (and after the first day, neither were they. I'm not going to say what happened, sufficed to say they looked at the photocopier with a whole new attitude in the morning nudge nudge wink wink)

Students in the library tend to take this whole pre-exam thing pretty seriously. On Friday I accidentally knocked a heavy book off a shelf.A horror-filled silence filled the room with silence and horror. I must escape at once, if not twice.

Seems that stuffy old libraries are not the place for me. So I'm just going to settle down to watch the local game shows. I'm a big fan of "Name That Barcode" - thick black, thick white, thin black, thick white - you get the idea.

To end with a joke, breaking the habit of a lifetime:
What is the most common Owl in Ireland?
The teat owl (!)

I'm not much of an ornithologist... more of a word botcher.

Keeping up with the Joneses

2008-01-02T00:14:00.000+01:00

MONDAY 1 JANUARY

203 lbs. (but post-dinner), alcohol units 0 (includes New Year's Eve), GameBoy hrs 5.

Food consumed today:

1 Kg Lasagne
8 fish fingers
2 packets of wine gums (250 gms)

Noon. LLN: my flat. Ugh. The last thing on earth I feel physically, emotionally or mentally equipped to do is study. Have decided that it's time to finally finish Link's Awakening on the GB. My mother texted me last night wants me to ring home like a good little boy. Must get onto that sometime soon.

11:45 p.m. Ugh. First day of New Year has been much like last few days of last one. Cannot quite believe I am once again starting the year in a single bed on my own. It is too humiliating at my age. I wonder if they'll smell it nextdoor if I have a fart out of the window. Having skulked at home all day, hoping hangover I could clear said game, I eventually gave up and set off for the kitchen for a Lasagne a la Fish Fingers. Felt rather bloated afterwards.

I racked my brain frantically to think when I last had a proper stool. The trouble with having a small room is that their very few places to put a large chair, so the stool would have to do. I'm halfway through a very satisfying shite at the moment. Very satisfying.

1 a.m. Oh, why am I so unattractive? Why? Even a man who wears bumblebee socks gets more "action" than I do. At least I think that's what these young people are calling it these days. I'm not that bad really. I was recently described as a renaissance man, by someone who hasn't quite grasped what century we're living in. Hate the New Year. Hate everyone. Anyway, have got giant tray-sized bar of Milkybar left over from Christmas on dressing table, also amusing game of Police Quest to get back to. Yesterday I was bored so I typed in "remove clothes", screen goes blank, 'game over', but it's too late I've seen everything.

1/1/8 1/1/8 Got your number!

2008-01-01T01:42:00.000+01:00

It seems that someone likes my work. I checked the mail today on the off-chance that the iPod had been delayed. No such luck but I did get a letter from a local bookshop with their own printing house. I've finally been offered a book deal! I have to decide before the end of January, but they tell me I can get 20% off all books!!!

It's amazing the things you think about when you're supposed to be studying. For instance today I was throwing my pen in the air and trying to catch it when I started to wonder why it grew larger the closer it got, and then, it hit me.

So, as the short-sighted terrier of Time chases the startled stick insect of Hope, and
the supple daschund of Fate is knotted by the absent-minded balloon magician of
Eternity, it's time to go…

Deirtear gur "tús maith" leath na hoibre ach is é "HOI" leath na HOIbre!

2007-12-30T03:47:00.000+01:00

Beannachtaí na Féile is athbhliain shuaimhneach oraibh (ortsa i ndaírire).

Tá sé in am do mo dhiongbháilteachta a ghabhann leis an teacht don Bhliain úr.

1) Ba mhaith liom bheith i mo mhúinteoir: is cailín an-dheas í.
2) Níos lú "staidéar."
3) Níos mó staidéar.
4) Labhraím níos mó fraincís.
5) Ithim níos lú francaigh.
6) Dhúnmharóinn bridín.
7) Thabharfainn go feasach tuairisc nó ráiteas bréige a chuirfeadh i gcéill cion a bheith déanta nó a d'fhéadfadh imní a mhúscailt faoi shábháilteacht daoine
7) Chuirfinn i gcéill go tuigeann éinne leis an teachtaireacht sin.

Go raibh an ghaoth go brách ag bhur gcúlanna.
_{(So you'll be freezing!)}

I've forgotten the taste of a Breakfast Roll..

2007-12-23T11:45:00.000+01:00

...but sure the Belgians have the "Sub-machine gun" instead...

... I'm so proud of it, I wrote a wikipedia article about it!

Now, where did I leave that Christmas Pudding Recipe...

All I want for christmas...

2007-12-21T23:16:00.001+01:00

Santy, won't ya buy me an iPod Nano^tm,
Or an MP3 Walkman^tm, or Creative Zen Micro^tm,
My friends all have podcasts, I need to downlo-ad,
Santee-ee-ee, won't ya buy me an iPod Nano^tm.

Santy, won't ya buy me a Nintendo DS^tm,
Compared to real ones, Nintendogs^tm make less mess,
I know I got XBox^tm, but never-the-less
Santee-ee-ee, won't ya buy me a Nintendo DS^tm.

Santy, won't ya buy me two (blonde) Swedish twins,
I ain't got much history, but I'd get stuck in,
I could ask for triplets (with one just watchin'),
~~Dad~~Santee-ee-ee, won't ya buy me Swee-ee-dish twins.

What wit it cuming up to the crimbo and all...

2007-12-18T23:18:00.000+01:00

Well he's gone. Leaving a trail of debt and destruction, the infamous (un-famous) T. Kinsella's gone back home to Dublin after a whirlwind weekend in Brussels, Louvain-la-Neuve & Leuven.

We went to the Heisel centre in Brussels. It was my first time to stand under the Atomium, very impressive close up, three-hundred feet tall if it's an inch… which it's not. Then it was off to the Oceade. They've got slides there. Extreme slides. Going down one is unwise going down all of them is not quite as intelligent as a mildly retarded woodchuck suffering from late-stage syphilis.

We also made the Trip into Flanders to the city of Leuven. Twas the best fun a group of Irish people had had since Mike & Liam Earl took the 16:07 Ryanair flight. Other stuff also happened but like an underage gay, I can't be arsed.

The weather here is pretty cold so I'm saving up for a snow-melting machine. It's beginning to look like quite a slush-fund.

As the smoker of time steps outside for the cigarette of fate and learns just how dangerous smoking is if you step out of a cable car, I notice it's time to sign-off. Once again it's seems that life, like Eric Cantona, can sometimes leap up and give you a kick in the head.

No words of sadness or regret could express how I feel... However, words of joy and excitement probably could.

Hey T.K., Orange you glad you asked me to update this...

2007-12-12T12:57:00.000+01:00

One of my friends, who shall remain nameless, is coming over on Friday. He's taking the Ryanair flight to Charleroi. There's no need; they have plenty of flights there already.

I was planning on giving him a cordial reception, but I'm all out of Ribena, so I'll give him a beer reception instead.

Funny (first time for everything! -Ed) story about T. Kinsella, wait that's too obvious, let's call him Thomas K., actually:

Christmas party two years ago, there was a spot of karaoke. Tom got up and sang "Hot Stuff" while disrobing. There's nothing like a pitch perfect voice, and let me tell you, that was NOTHING like a pitch perfect voice. The rumours ARE true.... He sung like a horse! Must have been one of his off days as he is generally pretty talented at karaoke, the girls swoon for him and he's competed in a few competitions. Indeed, he's had many successes under his belt.

Well, got a lecture to go to, and I haven't had my lunch yet.

Remember, in the words of the Hoff:

"It's better to have loved a short girl, than never to have loved a tall."

Naked Tuesdays moved to Naked Saturdays, due to lack of interest

2007-12-08T23:39:00.000+01:00

My flatmates have decided that Naked Tuesdays would be better off as "Samedi Nus". Given that I'm the only one around on the weekends it hasn't had the effect I'd wanted...

I'm cold.

France is Not Belgium

2007-11-27T21:13:00.000+01:00

Riots
Strikes

Quelle Surprise!

Belgium hasn't got a government but the trains run on time, and when the people march it's because they really like each other.

Room with a few.

2007-11-27T20:36:00.000+01:00

Route du Blocry 33/334,
B-1348 Louvain-la-Neuve,
Belgium

That's where I live.
Before signing the contract scrutinised the room (with an intense Scroot).

It's got 2 chairs, 1 bed, 1 wardrobe, 2 powerpoints, 1 sink, 1 velux window, and a dodgy light which I had to fix.

There's digital TV in the lounge and there's wireless broadband, I think I'm goin to like it here.

A Capital Weekend

2007-11-27T20:20:00.000+01:00

On Friday I went to Brussels to meet up with me mate dangerous Dave.

In many ways the weekend was not unlike a meeting of Europeans
and native Americans in the Age of Exploration:

I showed him the sights, he wasn't impressed.
He brought me trinkets, (My Gameboy, and King Crisps), I was impressed.
I caught some sort of GI illness and was toilet-ridden for 24 hours,
He also caught a GI illness and is still recovering.
Damned American-word-for-underground-train-Sandwiches.

We went to the Ocead Swimming Complex and picked up several injuries due to the slides not being very good squishee. Our tube capsized and my head went very fast towards the side of the slide, which was fine, until it hit the side of the slide, ouch.

"No Homelike Place"

2007-11-17T21:02:00.000+01:00

I'm moving out tomorrow.

Not exactly sure where to but I'm moving out. Hostel's full so I gotta go.

Working thru a list of 'avalable' places, excluding the ones that are
too expensive,
for females only,
to far away,
need 12 month contract,
not available right away,
not already taken
Opus Dei (?).

Receiving a littany of emails/SMS starting with "malheureusement" or "desolé" is not exactly nice.

I don't anticipate sleeping out anytime soon, I got some contingency plans, but all in all it ain't a nice feeling.

Say la v.

Sorry there's no joke in this one, but it's not a good time for me, and comedy is all about

timing.

I'm writing for the screen, but I'm not on strike...

2007-11-09T21:05:00.000+01:00

It's been a while since my last post, so let me first apologise for giving you false hope that I'd abandoned posting. The blog has received upwards of 300 hits this week, which means that catapults are making a comeback.

Right now I'm watching Bohs vs Cork on RTE.ie for the last European place.

As previously mentioned I was under the impression that I would be moving in to a kot (Belgisch for student accommodation) on the first of November. Funny story. When I visited the main accom office on my first week here i was told that said kot would be available on the 1st of November, and I scheduled a visit to check it out. An hour later I was at the office for the quarter where the kot was and I was shown to the room. It was grand so I returned to the Office and checked that I should return on the 1st.

The 1st was a public holiday so I went up to the accom office with a view to signing a contract and I was told that it was given to someone else. Apparently I had to confirm that I would take the kot. No one told me that. Imagine the utter desolation. I'd been content for the previous 2 weeks that I'd found a place to live and I'd given out the address, only to be told that someone else had it. Bad times.

Anyway the office did give me a list of 30 or so private places available to rent. Some of the places are said to be "under the prelature of Opus Dei" rent is 200 per month + flagellation fee. The response to most of my initial emails began with either "malheureusement" or "desolé" or "Dear Mister H., yours is a common problem, the cream you are taking should help..." but one said that the place was still available, and that I could visit at 7pm. At 7.10 I sent the owner a text confirming that I'd visited and confirming my interest. The reply told me that it too had been given to someone else. I'm in the hostel for at least the next week but I know that there won't be room there in a few weeks so the clock is ticking. Really bad times. If all else fails, never mind I still have something useful up my slieve: My arm.

I'm looking for ways to make some cash here - there's only so much you can buy with a genuine photocopy of a picture of a ten bob note. Last week I put my shirt on a greyhound. It looked so well that all the other greyhounds wanted one. I made a fortune.

Tomorrow there's an Erasmus dinner, basically everyone makes their national dish. I've couldn't find any "how to" books on Waterford Crystal so I'm making coddle. Finding it hard to find proper sausages, spuds, rashers and onions here, so I hope they like Bratwurst, turnip, salmon and scallion stew, I know I will. Maybe I'll add some petit-pois. All that I'm saying is give peas a chance.

Teachtaireacht gan ainm.

2007-10-29T21:47:00.000+01:00

I'm moving in on Thursday.

I'm considering packing, but the gun laws in this country are conservative to say the least so I'll probably leave it.

Completed my first programming assignment, tedium is not the word.

When I'm not in lectures, tutorials or computer rooms, I'm in the cinema, rollerblading, or when reminded that rollerblades are not permitted in theatres, I'm in the cinema watching a movie. I recommend Mr. Brooks, Ratatouille, Micheal Clayton. Other activities include formulating gags for this blog (I'll let you know how that's going) and listening to the local radio stations. The radio stations play all sorts: New romanticism, electro-pop, heavy metal and of course music.

The french version of Harry Potter 7 was released in a similar style to the real version, with midnight openings, big queues etc. I'm still on chapter 1 eagerly anticipating page 99 (the harlot!)

Well as the unprotected crotch of hope collides with the handle bars of destiny, looks like I'm out of time.

Go n-éirí an bóthar libh, (so you'll be walking up hills for the rest of your lives).

On yer bikes...

2007-10-24T14:25:00.000+02:00

The Louvain-La-Neuve 24 Hour Cycle is on at the mo. The whole town is packed with revellers, tourists, students and cyclists both professional and amateur. Anyone with something to sell (the students union, the societies) has a novelty bike. Woolly mammoths, cows, Volkswagen vans, pirate ships; pubs, all with a set of bikes inside are doing laps of the town while others are competing to register the most number of laps possible in 24 hours.

Meanwhile for the spectators, every square has a stage with bands etc. performing at different times with a big concert from 6p.m. to 6a.m. The train company have a special ticket so people are coming from all corners. There's a kids' square with balloons, magic etc. and and teenagers square with all the games you'd see in rag week, (tho not in trinity because rag week in trinity has all the entertainment features of the west Clare paint drying championships - repechage). Apparently someone died here last year due to too much of the old biére, so the shops aren't selling any liquids, alcoholic or not. On the other hand all the associations of students from each Belgian area, have bars open with cheap booze.

All the statues/fountains are boarded up so that a) the cyclists don't cycle into them, and so the rest of us don't damage them.

No lectures today/2mo because of the event.

Good times.

A Poem...

2007-10-23T22:43:00.001+02:00

Well the loo in the hostel wouldn't flush,
So out to the garden I did rush,
As my bladder was weak,
I had a quick leak:
Well they say scouts 'do it in the bush'.

Fin.

I'd like to apologise in advance.

2007-10-21T13:51:00.000+02:00

If you ain't got no money ask for more from home,
You say it: If you ain't got no money ask for more from home,

E R A S M U & an S, yeah

E R A S M U & an S.

You're ridin' first class,
Hiding from guards,
Dunno if you'll pass,
The course is so hard,
You're clothes are all stained,
But you can't change,
It's not a Socrates,
It's Erasmus, Erasmus,
'Twas Socrates,
Now its Erasmus, Erasmus,
Not using a toothbrush:
You floss, floss,
The Erasmus,
The Erasmus, Erasmus,
Not using a toothbrush,
So you floss floss.

Food is such an expensive thing,
Best before don't mean a thing.
What's the french for "diarrhoea"?
You can't afford the doctor to see- ugh!
Your diet is kind of lean:
Next week's food is turning green,
Packs of chickpeas,
Tins of beans,
The cockroaches have got fleas.

No BK, or Taco Bell,
No Pizza Hut or McDos- hell!
Not even a Happy Meal,
Wondering which of your livers to sell,
Now your stomach and guts are bollixed,
You're going to try some probiotics
such as "lactobacillus casei-immunitas"(!?)

You're ridin' first class,
Hiding from guards,
Dunno if you'll pass,
The course is so hard,
You're clothes are all stained,
But you can't change,
It's not a Socrates,
It's Erasmus, Erasmus,
'Twas Socrates,
Now its Erasmus, Erasmus,
Not using a toothbrush:
You floss, floss.
The Erasmus,
The Erasmus, Erasmus,
Not using a toothbrush,
So you floss floss.

A clean shirt?
- in your dreams!
Falls a part at the seams!
You reserve nothing for your sole job interview,
"L'aspir-a-teur": You've no clue,
What to do with it.
Got enough money in the bank for a wash OR dry.
Never gonna find enough Euros,
By theft or bank giros,
Can't make your weekly payments,
You're hiding in the basement,
Half a packet full of stones,
Good for calcium for the bones,
Hey if you ain't got no money ask for more from home.

E R A S M U & an S, yeah

E R A S M U & an S

You're ridin' first class,
Hiding from guards,
Dunno if you'll pass,
The course is so hard,
You're clothes are all stained,
But you can't change,
It's not a Socrates,
It's Erasmus, Erasmus,
'Twas Socrates,
Now its Erasmus, Erasmus,
Not using a toothbrush:
You floss, floss.
The Erasmus,
The Erasmus, Erasmus,
Not using a toothbrush,
So you floss floss.

You got problems up to here,
You got people in your ear,
Telling you these "helpful" things,
That you don't wanna know.
Got no money in the bank,
And so your high standards have sank,
(eh, bank it rhymes with "wank",
In case you didn't know.)

Cause you remember yesterday,
When you dreamt about the days,
When you'd get your liberty,
But it's not great you know:
Now your living in a hole,
And this basement is so cold,
You gotta let yo' daddy know,
Go let yo' daddy know.

If you ain't got no money ask for more from home,
That basement is so cold,
If you ain't got no money ask for more from home,
So let yo' daddy know,
If you ain't got no money ask for more from home,
And if he just says "So?"
If you ain't got no money ask for more from home,
Then just become a ho...

I could murder a brownie, or maybe a beaver, just any sort of uniformed six year old.(c)

2007-10-20T16:39:00.000+02:00

Le Grand Place and the streets around it are swarming with scouts n guides of all ages today.

(There's almost as many scouts as there is here.

... almost)

Some sort of treasure hunt, shopping trip/urban jamboree thingie, I dunno. I suppose a student town is a good place to be if u want to avoid looking "intimidating", as I've been told we look when in large groups (3up).

So far I've seen two groups in Walibi Wavre, 1 in Aqualibi, 2 last weekend and 5 this weekend. The Spirit Lives on.

Anyway there seems to be a lot of le craic around. Good times.

Unfortunately Cub Leaders are as ugly here as they are at home.

I think I'll write a letter about it, Cheddar Gorge style. Who's with me?

White water - Rapid!

2007-10-20T16:06:00.000+02:00

The water in my room has white bits in it.

Lots and lots of white bits.

I'm told it's just calcium. It scares me, although it is good for "them bones", apparently.

In other news I bought roller blades today. The town is basically pedestrianised and smooth, so why not "go out on a limb"?- that's where the phrase comes from.

I just have to find a way to sort out my dodgy ankle, the bane of my ice-skating past. (Little known fact: I could have speed-skated at the Olympics, but for the lack of training, motivation or any particular skill)

Nothing to do with Sarkozy's Divorce, or Toast.

2007-10-18T22:42:00.000+02:00

Oh, good evening.

You must excuse my filthy hands I've just been washing my face.

Today i had a few lectures, nothing major just algorithms and English Linguistics, good times. Then, pimped my laptop with Duke Nukem, Shadow Warrior and some programming tools - no, no not Tivo, tools for computer programming.

You see my laptop wasn't exactly the dog's Balearics to begin with, when it comes to the "Wow!" factor it hit the bulls-eye like a bullet from a... trifle. Having said that, thanks to the use of the hostel's PC, and my USB keys, I've been spending my evening playing Duke Nukem to the sounds of Nob Nation, The Colm & Jim-Jim breakfast show, and a selection of Hist debates from the last few years, including the God debate of last week.

My God, Costigan sounded almost accomplished, he what made UCD IV 2006 very 'interesting' indeed. On that occasion his string of barely coherent prose only in fact contained one (1) degree of celsius between each serving — or 1/6 of a "Kevin Bacon."

Of course I'm no JFK myself when it comes to public speaking, but at least I shy away from those regurgitated dead baby jokes, if not the less-well-known jokes about regurgitated dead babies. Horses for courses, I suppose, which incidentally is a well-known French restaurant.

Other news today included putting Miss G. Wylde, following a request to be Bebo stalked, up as my wallpaper, - on my laptop that is, not my room. That honour is reserved for my bank statement, which according to reports is 'outstanding'.

Today I also used a laundrette for the first time. Wow. Never say "never".. oops I said it twice.

Well, as the lemmings of fate fall off the crumbling cliffs of eternity I notice the hostels common room is about to close, (& that there are 8 hyperlinks in this post) so... buh bye.

S'aime à s'ité vère oise

2007-10-17T17:16:00.000+02:00

Ah the hard slog of daily lectures, you'd miss it. Unless you got a big F.O. gun.

Did I mention the lack of band-aids after my blood donation. I was walking around with a bandage around my elbow, add that to an unfortunate shaving accident I had and i was getting strange looks all day. That said, it probably wasn't a good idea to shave my crotch on the main street.

How did I get here!?

S'aime à s'ité vère oise.
S'aime à s'ité vère oise.
S'aime à s'ité vère oise.

Carlsberg don't do disorientation...

2007-10-16T20:33:00.002+02:00

England in a Rugby World Cup Final !?

Sherry/ Curtis going to Worlds!?

Cubs in the cabin without me!!!?????

these being more significant than my tales of donating blood today, (mistranslated "bloodbank" as "bank", then spent hours trying to comprehend "compagnon sexuel"- not the french version: just the juxtaposition of "sexual" with a word like "partner", when "wasteland" or "non-entity" would have sounded more natural)

And so, ladies and germs, as the 4x4 of Destiny on the level crossing of Fate stalls in the path of the speeding freight train of Doom, and the signalman of Time rushes to fetch his camera, I notice I'm out of time.

"I would do anything for Luna Neuve, but I won't do THAT...

2007-10-15T19:35:00.000+02:00

registered today, in and out in 5 mins, with a student travel card: free, login details & a provisional student card. My card is provisional, (I'm not, as there's no local SF Cumann) is provisional because it's only a piece of paper until my real card arrives in the post in the hostel.

UCL has a student-web:tcd-local type online sign-in thingie with Squirrell mail which i was able to access. Unfortunately, a successful on-campus PC login has yet to occur so i gotta visit the pc helpdesk. barrells of fun.

Went to the ciné yesterday and saw le version français (VF) of Ratatouille, typicle francophones too lazy to even invent a french word for 'rataouille.'

Also did my first bit of supermarket shopping today, and my pennies are pinched harder then my ass was back in my rugby school days. I could rattle off the comparitve prices of 17 brands of footpowder in terms of fungicide gms per euro but sure the excitement might kill you.

later.

CHRISt! FOR only eighty euro i'm guaranteed ENTS for the year

2007-10-13T22:33:00.000+02:00

You know how it is, a nice young lady approaches you in your first week in college and offers you membership to an exclusive club:

"° Your guaranteed a ride or two most weekends
° The ladies are sure to be wet
° Only those with a strong stomach need apply."

"Ogra Fianna Fail!?" I thought, but no, she was pimping a membership card for a fun Park.

-A fun park I spent the whole day in.

Walibi Belgium, formerly Six Flags Belgium, Formerly Walibi Wavre, the theme park I know so well. I could bore you all with the virtues of this place that has a watercomplex connected to it but I won't, it's late and I have to be outta here in 20 mins. Anyhoo, I'm now a member and I can get you a discount when you come visit.

After the park i went on a few stations and revisited the campsite in DE KLUIS, Sint-Joris-Weert, in the nederlandschischen speaking region. The PVG were there in 01, nothings changed.

Having trouble finding a wireless network, but should be settle when i register on Monday.

I've visited my future apartment, it's kind of pokey with a communal kitchen, 5 mins from my main faculty. I move in on the 1st November, staying in hostel till then.

Timetabling is weird here. Classes start at 8.30 and last 2 hours with 15 min breaks.

Keyboard layout is annoying:
AZERTYUIOP
QSDFGHJKLM
WXCVBN

plus numbers are higher caps

just found out theres an ERASMUS party right now, in something called a "Pub";

gtg

G

btw I mean it when I say you're coming over,

btw Jews are especially welcome dans ma chambre.

Planes, Trains and autobuses...

2007-10-12T11:40:00.000+02:00

An ordinary private computer science student from the College Historical Society, Aughrim Street Scouts, National Venture Scout Programme Team and Da Northsoide began his year abroad with a 6.25 flight to Charleroi (Brussels South). Now by 6.25 I mean 7.10 and by Brussels south i mean Frankfurt, Germany. Turns out Belgium was under heavy fog so the guys couldn't land the plane. It actually worked out well the best because I was only 4.5 hours away from my actual destination - a new record for R***air.

Anyhoo, queue a walk up to the nice people in the info booth in Frankfurt and the use of my best German. Discovered that the bus to Charleroi would shortly be outside the door, marvelled at the distance between Frankfurt and Brussels on a nearby map and got on the bus. 50 mins later the driver felt it was time to start moving. On the way we crossed the Moselle, and saw the only castle remaining on the river to have survived the war, which was nice, (the castle, not the war).

Despite the fact that UCL told me I could get a direct bus from the airport to the town, I decided to accept the advice of a kind stranger and hopped on the shuttle bus to Charleroi, the town not the cattleshed ("airport"). When we got to Gare Charleroi Sud, I heaved my 3 bags of over 35kg up the steps to platform 5 and it was off to Nivelles with me. In Nivelles i got a suburban train which went north to Brussels and back down to L-l-N.

Having taken several breaks on the way up the stairs on to the main street of L-l-N, I saw it. The best college town in the world ever.

Imagine if you would if Connolly station was placed smack bang in the middle of new square of TCD. Now imagine if only students got the train there, and the next station on was for a theme park. Now imagine if Stephen´s Green shopping centre was also placed in Fellows Square, but had the shops from Dundrum, and a basement bit with a Louvre-esque glass covered sous-terrain. Now imagine if all the main roads around TCD went under it, and every building (apartments, newly relocated Connolly and Stephen's Green SC had underground parking. What you are currently imagining is Louvain-la-Neuve.

After finding the hostel in which i would be staying temporarily, I went for a stroll around the batements. The place was quite noisy as 5 or 6 fraternity/sorority type groups were initiating their new recruits; press-ups, rolling around in beer and food, and generally being shouted at.

Then i went into the aforementioned Shopping centre and found the greatest toy shop ever, better indeed the ones I'd visited in NYC, Oberbeieber, Cologne and Brussels. They've got 6 foot tall Marsupilami's and loads of board games in a strange language called French and the best selection of Top-Trumps I've ever seen.

Nehoo, tis off to the lecture type thingies with me 2mo.

G